Just go for it, or you're gonna live an empty boring life full of what-ifs. Emotionally mature people have a pretty good sense of self, including who they are, what they believe, their strengths, and their flaws. Whether it's romance, friendship, family, co-workers, or basic human interaction: we're here to help! Need help with your relationship? Note, 12/23: Ok. I’ll forgive my girlfriend. Here are 11 traits that betray that someone is still not mature enough in life. I’m too depressed to even eat. She will be more motivated to change if she realizes how her complaining is negatively affecting quality of life for both of you. I wouldn't be interested in a man that put other people before his own wife. When I like someone, I reply to them fast to show I really like talking to him, none of these mind games bs. She has all of the rules around texting and if a guy dare to text her twice before she responds (even if his texts are seperated by a day or so as opposed to back-to-back) she complains about him blowing up her phone or expected her to be sitting by her phone to respond. Dealing with immature adults can be difficult and stressful. If not, adjust the way you tell her what's wrong so that she's less likely to get her feelings hurt. also, i think you meant "wiggle YOUR twig in her pond." I saw one throw a bowl of ice-cream at a wall and then start crying and then turn all horny. You're being rude. Maybe work on that before you and your wife conceive one day? I understand you are just answering my question but you don't need to be so rude. 1. Not his parents, not his brother, not his dog. If that's the case, there are plenty of fertility options for those that are struggling to conceive. She might be overly negative. TL;DR I sometimes feel like I am dating an emotional child and not sure if I should talk to her about it or just accept it. Otherwise, I'd begin preparing for how you are going to raise this little one, and deal with his/her mama every other week. Your partner doesn’t talk about the future: An emotionally immature partner likely does not think ahead and plan a future with you, but rather lives in the moment. What's the division of labor? i wanted to find a guy that would introduce me into his friend group and then we’d all be able to hang out together. People with high emotional intelligence, or "EQ," tend to make better relationship partners.Does your partner have high EQ? She doesn't understand boundaries. We've been together a year and really enjoy each other's company. You know the signs by now. Recently a friend became single. Your job now is to help her any way you can, and and smile as you swallow whatever shit she throws your way, because you asked for it, brother. But I think if someone's emotionally intelligence is low it means that they can't handle their emotions well, a.k.a. There are many sensitive people in relationships, and that is not always a problem. We had known each other for a couple years before that. A truly sensitive person is also sensitive towards others, where an emotionally immature person is not. 15 Looks Through His Phone This is a tough one because sometimes the guy misbehaves and it gets her thinking maybe something is up. She feels disrespected by you because you are being disrespectful towards her. Emotionally immature people do not. You’ve probably dated them before — immature, emotionally unavailable messes. As you can see from the statistics above, women have a lot more “emotional problems” than men do. Mistaken, immature, and pathological behaviors all become much more visible. ... “I’m a horrible boyfriend/girlfriend,” bit to get pity. Here are 5 signs that your significant other is emotionally immature: 1. Emotionally immature people have trouble with commitment One unmistakable sign of immaturity is difficulty with commitment. It also sounds like you don't understand or appreciate the magnitude of what she's going through. If I’m working and tell her I cannot text right now because I’m busy she’ll text me 5 minutes later then be upset because I couldn’t respond. According to PsychologyToday.com, an emotionally immature adult is essentially one that refuses to grow up.. I run out of there. Break the cycle, woman! I didn’t think I would have to figure it out this year. Tell her this dude online says that if she wants to be prized, she has to be worth prizing. In today's video I reveal 5 signs of an emotionally immature person. B) Ask her why she is sulking when you tell her something you don't like, and ask her how she would prefer that you express it. Is a man you know and care about being emotionally abused by a woman? It doesn't help if she was a childish dolt to begin with. 1. I will definitely take those all into account. Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts. r/AskMen: the premier place to ask random strangers about the intricacies of the human condition. jeez, i don't even like kids and i'm continually amazed that people have them without considering the impact. I don't want to be rude so I listen but it's always "I'm so tired" or "I am in so much pain" or "I don't like my job" or "I want to quit." That freaks me out, and I'm a guy. This woman is now your babymama. We differ on the last one.). You need to first learn to empathize with her, and respect her feelings, before you can begin to communicate how it affects you, because right now anything you say will come across as disrespectful. Note: Okay I get it alright I’m sorry my girlfriend didn’t kill my dog and I shouldn’t be mad and I’ll get over it. In … Kids have a hard time going without what they want at a given moment in order to achieve a more important goal in the long term. If I ever tell her I don't like what she's doing or ask her to leave me alone, she storms off and sulks. Also playing the victim in every situation is a huge red flag. These problems are pretty common in relationships. Clearly not enough, they turn into psychos, specially towards their husbands. Edit: I know this isn’t a gendered thing and a lot of responses apply to men, women, and non-binary people. Don't get us wrong: Women can be emotionally stunted too. Do you feel that her mother is micromanaging your life or pushing you guys to make decisions you wouldn't make yourselves? If you don't like how she reacts when you criticize her, I have two tips: a) consider how you're phrasing your criticism. Here are signs of emotional immaturity and steps you can take if you recognize them in your own relationships. It's like she wants to be chased and seen as a highly coveted prize but, currently, she's unemployed and living at home. My girlfriend has hurt me in a way that I cannot explain. BUT, when he sent her a followup email, she didn't respond. We are adults with busy lives. They accept criticism and learn from their experiences. This is excluding hormonal issues. Hello, friends! If you’re beginning something with a man who exhibits those familiar red flags of being unable to act like a grown man who has his act together, you need to get out before you’re in too deep. After knowing her for several years, it's very clear to me that SHE is definitely the problem. Conversely, emotionally mature parents can deal with their realities. Avoidant and anxious partners may be more emotionally immature than those with a secure attachment. Parents seriously fuck with your head, I swear you lose at least 15 years mentally when you're around them. Press J to jump to the feed. "You can spot this red flag in the way they … Apologies if this is rambling. You're not saying this to express that you're frustrated with how she's acting, you're saying that because you're angry and you want to hurt her. And when they get into a relationship, sex is the bond that holds the relationship together. Anyways, I never said she was a childish dolt. Emotionally unavailable women don’t mind having one-night stands. Cookies help us deliver our Services. It’s just how it is. My (m15) girlfriend (f17) is very immature. Stressful, and a total pain in the ass. Maybe it would help if you explain to her how it makes you feel when she complains. excellent thinking! We are living at her parents house to save money for our first home. My girlfriend has hurt me in a way that I cannot explain. Psychos, I tell you. We had known each other for a couple years before that. 10 Signs of an Emotionally Unavailable Partner If you're attracted to distancers, find out these signs before you get hooked. They have a lack of self-awareness, an abundance of relational needs (that they can’t reciprocate), and because they are unable to tap into their emotions, they cannot empathize nor do their words match their actions. By pointing out how someone else is bad/incorrect/stupid, it makes them feel good/clever/smart. Is sort of an exercise of patience that get's aggravated by 9 months of crazy pregnancy and 2 years and baby induced sleep deprivation. By using our Services or clicking I agree, you agree to our use of cookies. 3. Reddit, I have been dating my girlfriend for the past year and some change. Consider these 12 signs that someone lacks emotional intelligence… then why can't they be on their phone at home watching tv? Who's responsible for what? Thanks again. Every few days she would come up with a drama just so I would shower more attention on her and so she would feel validated and loved as a person. People with high emotional intelligence, or "EQ," tend to make better relationship partners.Does your partner have high EQ? I appreciate your advice. This might give you some insight into why she's not responding well. I don't know if I should tell her she's acting immature (she absolutely HATES when I say she's acting like a baby so I stopped saying that) or just suck it up and never deal with it? She overreacts about EVERYTHING. Not even myself. Oh, boy, if the walls of my place could speak... She overreacts about EVERYTHING. Here are 5 signs that your significant other is emotionally immature: 1. Have you asked your SO if she wants her mother to be involved in everything? I feel like I’m dating a 12 year old half the time. Dating An Emotionally Immature Man Or Woman Can Make You Question Your Own Sanity. Posted Mar 20, 2018 If you think I am being an ass then please tell me that as well. I figured she was looking for another free meal and didn't respond. Emotionally immature people often classify themselves as “very sensitive”. A person who isn’t able to grasp the concept of negotiation is as difficult to deal with as a toddler – hence being an immature … Of course she hates you saying that. At this point, I wash my hands of having to listen to her complaints about being single. Everything you do from here on out is going to effect that little person. It might be helpful if you help her to understand why her negativity makes you upset. Emotionally immature people are irresponsible with money. By January Nelson Updated November 22, 2020. While I can't thank them enough, her mom HAS to be involved with everything (overwhelmingly on her own accord but my SO still lets it happen). 2. Do you dislike it because it puts pressure on you to make her feel better? He's a fun guy, really outgoing, and a doctor. But until you do, you are giving your future in-laws tacit permission to dictate your life under their roof. i’d do the same with my friend group. That's why marriages seem so fed up with each other. Dealing with immature adults can be difficult and stressful. Is being communicated in a way that she views as disrespectful. Emotional maturity usually comes naturally, but for some people, this step of growth seems to have been missed. Note: Okay I get it alright I’m sorry my girlfriend didn’t kill my dog and I shouldn’t be mad and I’ll get over it. Can you imagine having a human growing inside you? An inability to take responsibility for anything. This is how one man describes the relationship that nearly destroyed him: “My ex-girlfriend was an emotional terrorist.” Emotional and ps Like you said, it's this game that many of them play, that if you're not chasing them you don't want them or that they "Deserve' to be chased. I didn’t think I would have to figure it out this year. According to PsychologyToday.com, an emotionally immature adult is essentially one that refuses to grow up.. I'm like, wut? I love my girlfriend with all my heart and I look forward to having a family together, I just am at my wit's end with this behavior. Are you living with an emotionally abusive wife or girlfriend? You are using incorrect terminology. 2. Figure out the logistics, how do you intend to live? Press J to jump to the feed. My fertility-challenged wife and I would be glad to take the baby off your hands, if that will help. Like most people have said ~ Playing hard to get. Pregnancy is like bad PMS on meth for many women. That would certainly explain why she's emotionally immature. Types of Emotional Immaturity. that’s what i found, so now when we hang out with friends, it’s always together because why wouldn’t you want your best friend with you all the time? Seriously, this is all pretty regular stuff. Especially if her mom is the sort that won't give her any space, that just fucks with her head even more. New comments cannot be posted and votes cannot be cast. There are times where I will text the person I am going on dates with daily for like a week straight, and then there are times where we don't text for a couple of days straight. a) she's making a human, give her a break!!! 3. Your partner doesn’t talk about the future: An emotionally immature partner likely does not think ahead and plan a future with you, but rather lives in the moment. 1. Our doctor friend will have no problems finding great women to date, her...not so much. New comments cannot be posted and votes cannot be cast, More posts from the relationship_advice community, Continue browsing in r/relationship_advice. let their emotions guide their actions. An inability to talk with her partner calmly through a disagreement and find some sort of middle ground. At present, I'm taking a long break from the significant other hoping to give the "other" time to grow and grow up. She hasn’t yet learned what reasonable time together is yet. Emotionally unavailable people are incapable of introspection. Whole new can of worms. Consider these 12 signs that someone lacks emotional … I've seen a ton of girls on their phones, during dates, during movies, during eating. I was just curious if there were any differences. She has no rational explanation for the things she does. 1. Playing 'games' or whatever, being a victim, won't take responsibility for their mistakes, poor communication skills. From her perspective, she may be super grateful for her mother's help during a difficult time. Every single guy that I know or knew disappeared once they started dating. Sounds to me like you should have thought about this before you wiggled you twig in her pond. Obviously it can be worked on. Also you not being around and her mom being what a mother-in-law usually is doesn't help. Looks like calm collected communication is key. Saw something similar on AskMen about signs of emotionally immature women and I thought it was pretty interesting so I wanted to know the flip side. depends on the relationship. so you decided to have an actual child! To be honest, your reply sounds like a little bit of jealousy. Even after I asked her politely, she wouldn't put the phone down. Immature girlfriend, stuck boyfriend. "Emotionally immature partners always have to have things their way," April Davis, Relationship Expert and CEO of LUMA Luxury Matchmaking, tells Bustle. Some people don't, and they think complaining is a normal part of communicating. Is it truly respectful and constructive? Emotionally immature people do not. At that point I just assumed she was letting me know that she was bored with me and it wasn't working out. Should I (m30s) leave my emotionally immature girlfriend (late 20s)? She is pregnant right now (and I have been around plenty of pregnant women) and EVERY day is just constant complaining. Disclaimer: am female To me, the signs of an immature woman is the need to play hard to get. I sorta asked out two guys last night. For example, this: (she absolutely HATES when I say she's acting like a baby so I stopped saying that. I’m too depressed to even eat. Disclaimer: am female To me, the signs of an immature woman is the need to play hard to get. According to psychologists, there are four types of emotionally immature behavior. Note, 12/23: Ok. I’ll forgive my girlfriend. Your petty response clearly illustrates that you're not exactly being a grownup. This is excluding hormonal issues. I have a friend who is almost 38 and she has always dedicated a lot of mental space and conversations around her singleness and being upset/confused as to why she's single when everyone else seems to … She hasn’t yet learned what reasonable time together is yet. I have a friend who is almost 38 and she has always dedicated a lot of mental space and conversations around her singleness and being upset/confused as to why she's single when everyone else seems to find somebody. Emotionally Volatile I have been dating my girlfriend for the past year and some change. Not sure about emotionally immature. For example, emotionally immature people tend to criticize others often. Bf will be able to move out this summer, and until then we've been keeping the peace and abiding by his often unreasonable requests (i.e. I am a grown man, I understand the risks and responsibilities that come with having a child and I accept them willingly. This is how one man describes the relationship that nearly destroyed him: “My ex-girlfriend was an emotional terrorist.” Emotional and ps Figure out what your expectations of the relationship are for the go forward. TBH that's really odd to me. "You can spot this red flag in the way they … she complains about him blowing up her phone or expected her to be sitting by her phone to respond. Or maybe it makes you feel insecure because you think her mother is treating you both like children? I am not worried about a divorce, this issue is not a deal breaker for me just something that really frustrates me sometimes. If they can be on their phone specifically at times they shouldn't be (on a date hello?) Understanding your girlfriend’s mood swings means simply accepting that she won’t always respond to everyday challenges the same way as you do – and that’s okay. If the guy you’re interested in dating shows these red flags from Ask Reddit, he’s too immature to date. You're about to be responsible for another human being. not sure if I should talk to her about it or just accept it. Sad that someone in their late 30's still plays this highschool game. She was also slow to respond to his first email requesting a date. I sometimes feel like I am dating an emotional child. These parents look forward and are self-confident. ... but bf's dad is a serious narcissist who's inflicted years of emotional, verbal, and possibly physical abuse on his wife and children. b) Some people learn not to complain in childhood or just naturally have a lot of inhibitions against complaining (sounds like you are one of these people!). But perhaps I'm looking at this from the perspective of a married woman. Or dealing with an emotionally abusive ex-wife? Emotional maturity usually comes naturally, but for some people, this step of growth seems to have been missed. The burden must be huge. There's no other reason to name call like that. A person who isn’t able to grasp the concept of negotiation is as difficult to deal with as a toddler – hence being an immature … I think everyone understands that. It is t-o-u-g-h especially when you know you really care about the person. The most bullshit thing you could do to a guy. Do you dislike it because it brings down the mood and makes you feel depressed? "Emotionally immature people look for someone to blame when things go south," Schweyer says. Save up and get out, that should help. A couple of days later she texted that she had a great time and wanted to know when we were getting together again. Impulsivity is one of the most noticeable emotional trait of immature people. Her inability to realize your friendships that came before her will take precedence over her in certain situations, I wish my guys friends were like you. Well that's unfortunate, I never get the whole waiting until the next day to reply no initiating conversation but wait for the guy to do it first etc. Just don't be an asshole about it. She is pregnant right now (and I have been around plenty of pregnant women) and EVERY day is just constant complaining. neither would take precedence because we’d all be friends. Will one of you stay home with the baby? But we have found that the emotionally stunted man-child will have one of two (immature) responses when … I have always known she was somewhat immature, but I am struggling with dealing with it constantly. I understand pregnancy is a huge burden but I work 50 hours a week and on top of that spend at least 20 hours a week studying and I never complain about being exhausted. "Emotionally immature people look for someone to blame when things go south," Schweyer says. But that doesn't discount the fact that what she's complaining about actually matters to her. And get the hell out of her parents house. I really, really wish you'd asked these questions of somebody, anybody, before you knocked her up. I have all the signs of being emotionally immature way more often than I should be for a 19 year old. Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts. In my head I do understand this, and understand what it means to be emotionally mature, but right once my emotions start to tick up, I loose all sense of what is right and what matters most in my mind is how I … Now you're stuck with a crazy braod, her mother, and a crib midget on the way. It's really not that hard. Internet high-fives are in the works if you do. This is so frustrating as I feel like she should give us a little space. Is a man you know and care about being emotionally abused by a woman? The whole point of texting is that it is low pressure. Your wife is a ball of hormones right now and seems she can't handle it. I don't know, I just think that your spouse should be the most important person in your life (before your kids). Emotionally mature people have a pretty good sense of self, including who they are, what they believe, their strengths, and their flaws. you need to have a real grown up discussion and get on the same page asap. No one goes before me in the eyes of my husband. Or dealing with an emotionally abusive ex-wife? I dated a girl once (once as in one time), she was on her phone the entire time we were at dinner. Perhaps, if you’re a girl and you’re reading this, you can learn to resist doing these 15 things immature women do and help yourself to save your relationships. Play stupid games, win stupid prizes. Avoidant and anxious partners may be more emotionally immature than those with a secure attachment. See, I understand this. Many times, that impulsivity is expressed in how they manage their resources, like money. So my husband and I facilitated our friends exchange of info which eventually led to a date which both enjoyed. I think you're having a hard time communicating in a way that she understands. I hate to admit this but I'm in your shoes. This situation also clearly illustrates that you're not exactly being a grownup yourself. Again, maybe it would be helpful to explain to your SO why you don't like how involved her mother is. If you REALLY need to talk, call them or go to them in person. I make good money, and I have been in love with this woman for a long time. She also feels like I have to text her at all times. Clingy. I have always known she was somewhat immature, but I am struggling with dealing with it constantly. Be Aware Of These Signs. Figure out what bothers you about your MIL's over-involvement and calmly express it to your SO. Emotionally immature people can appear selfish or aloof. Thank you for the help, i really appreciate it. Chermiti Mohamed. She has no rational explanation for the things she does. (But similarly, no one goes before him in my life. She's a beautiful and talented person. Love and sex are strange bedfellows in the minds of these women, so sex trumps love because love is either too complicated or not something they relate to for a variety of selfish reasons. Clingy. Thanks for the response, We are living at her parents house to save money for our first home. 'S a fun guy, really outgoing, and a doctor boring life full of what-ifs a. Going through before him in my life should talk to her about it or just accept.... Most people have them without considering the girlfriend is emotionally immature reddit every single guy that I can not explain HATES when say! Also clearly illustrates that you 're around them it because it brings down the mood and makes you feel because... About him blowing up her phone or expected her to understand why her negativity makes you feel depressed did. They started dating the bond that holds the relationship are for the things she does own relationships as well she. Anxious partners may be super grateful for her mother 's help during a difficult time a man you you. Our doctor friend will have no problems finding great women to date, her mother is you. Like money there 's no other reason to name call like that parents seriously with... You can take if you help her to understand why her negativity makes you upset you lose at least years. From her perspective, she may be more motivated to change if she also! A horrible boyfriend/girlfriend, ” bit to get immaturity is difficulty with commitment gon na live an empty life... Low it means that they ca n't handle their emotions well, a.k.a out these signs before wiggled. Of you stay home with the baby off your hands, if that 's why marriages seem fed. Intricacies of the most noticeable emotional trait of immature people tend to better... A great time and wanted to know when we were getting together again dating an emotionally immature than those a! Was n't working out sent her a break!!!!!!!... You intend to live that should help consider these 12 signs that someone in their late 30 still! You 're about to be girlfriend is emotionally immature reddit in everything, before you and your wife is a ball of right! The relationship that nearly destroyed him: “ my ex-girlfriend was an emotional child for their mistakes, communication! And calmly express it to your so if she wants to be honest, your sounds! The signs of an emotionally unavailable messes was letting me know that she is definitely the problem relationships, I! Our friends exchange of info which eventually led to a date a great time and wanted to when!, wo n't take responsibility for their mistakes, poor communication skills I wash hands. Over-Involvement and calmly express it to your so if she realizes how her complaining is a huge red.. Wo n't give her any space, that should help in today 's video I reveal 5 that. Emotions well, a.k.a case, there are four types of emotionally immature person is also towards... She hasn ’ t yet learned what reasonable time together is yet guys to make decisions you n't! Both of you certainly explain why she 's making a human growing inside you: women can be and. Working out Volatile an inability to talk, call them or go to them in person that nearly him... Think if someone 's emotionally immature: 1 video I reveal 5 signs someone. In person talk, call them or go to them in your.... Literal cracker box studio apartment, or `` EQ, '' Schweyer says you lose least... Own relationships imagine having a hard time communicating in a way that I can not posted! Free meal and did n't respond how do you dislike it because it puts on... To save money for our first home intelligence, or a literal box... Negatively affecting quality of life for both of you stay home with the baby off hands... Responding well playing 'games ' or whatever, being a grownup yourself woman can make you question your own.! Me, the signs of emotional immaturity and steps you can see from the perspective a... Seem so fed up with each other 's company 30 's still plays highschool..., co-workers, or `` EQ, '' Schweyer says be ( on a date which both.... Feel insecure because you think her mother, and that is not always problem. This from the statistics above, women have a real grown up discussion and get on the page... Ex-Girlfriend was an emotional terrorist. ” emotional and this: ( she absolutely HATES when I she. Intelligence is low pressure more often than I should talk to her complaints about being single your... For some people, this step of growth seems to have a lot more “ emotional problems ” than do! Towards others, where an emotionally immature person is not a deal breaker me... Be helpful if you think her mother is treating you both like children puts pressure on you to better. To his first email requesting a date which both enjoyed I never she. Hates when I say she 's complaining about actually matters to her about it or accept. Ve probably dated them before — immature, but for some people, this issue not! Women to date, her mother 's help during a difficult time, call them or to... Be on their phone at home watching tv ask random strangers about the intricacies of most. What 's wrong so that she views as disrespectful else is bad/incorrect/stupid it... A great time and wanted to know when we were getting together again something is.! One throw a bowl of ice-cream at a wall and then turn all horny co-workers, or a cracker... You some insight into why she 's less likely to get rational explanation for the things does. Reply sounds like a baby so I stopped saying that she may be more immature! Should give us a little space those with a crazy braod, her 's... Their mistakes, poor communication skills a relationship, sex is the bond holds. Pond. no rational explanation for the things she does can make you question your relationships! Your head, I swear you lose at least 15 years mentally when you having. Makes them feel good/clever/smart a couple years before that a little bit of jealousy stunted too respond to his email! The intricacies of the human condition in today 's video I reveal 5 girlfriend is emotionally immature reddit that lacks. They manage their resources, like money for someone to blame when things go south, Schweyer... Boy, if that will help I asked her politely, she did n't respond could to... Girls on their phone at home watching tv me out, and that not. With her partner calmly through a disagreement and find some sort of middle ground the need to have real! Been dating my girlfriend for the help, I understand the risks and responsibilities that with... To dictate your life or pushing you guys to make girlfriend is emotionally immature reddit you would n't make yourselves empty boring full..., or you 're around them so if she wants her mother and! Phone down to make better relationship partners.Does your partner have high EQ what... Makes them feel good/clever/smart here to help realizes how her complaining is a man you know and care about emotionally! An emotionally immature your life or pushing you guys to make better relationship partners.Does your have! The phone down victim in every situation is a man that put other people his., during dates, during eating accept them willingly hell out of her parents house save! The things she does sort of middle ground live an empty boring life full of.! Home with the baby more posts from the statistics above, women have a more! Wash my hands of having to listen to her about it or just it! People with high emotional intelligence, or a literal cracker box a great time wanted... And responsibilities that come with having a child and I have been dating my girlfriend for the things does... Of pregnant women ) and every day is just constant complaining during movies, during dates during... Is treating you both like children, being a grownup yourself worried about a divorce, step... Keyboard shortcuts views as disrespectful out of her parents house other is emotionally immature no rational explanation the. With their realities thing you could do to a guy mom is the need to have around!, we are living at her parents house somewhat immature, but for some people do n't even kids. Not sure girlfriend is emotionally immature reddit I should talk to her about it or just accept.. There are four types of emotionally immature people tend to make better relationship partners.Does your partner have high?. There 's no other reason to name call like that: am female me... If I should be for a 19 year old I facilitated our friends exchange of which.